Yunnie

Survive in TOA for 3 years without any failure is consider a little success in life.. It’s been tough time ever! Anyway, It’s past and I have graduated. After graduated, I only realized that i m going to be adult and have to depend on myself all the way. And then, I think my friends and family really help me a lot in my studies previously. Without them, I can’t do anything but of course I still need to depend on myself.

After the end of TOA life, I have to move forward to University life in Australia. Sigh, I dunno what will happen in the future and I dunno how all those things change afterwards. I love my life here.I love my friends here. That’s why recently i keep meet up all my fellow friends as many as i can. I afraid they will be more busier and forget about me in the future. I hope they can remember and enjoy those precious moments we been through.

I know It must be not easy to survive myself in Australia alone. The moment i decided to go university, It really makes me worry everyday. I afraid i cant handle the life over there. I know i m weak and i m not as good as my friends. Through all nights, I can’t sleep well. My friends told me that do not worry too much and i will be okie. But, those words dont really give me more courage to face the truth T_T.. Aaaaa..i m really going to be crazy..

I think i’m keep stressing myself T_T what can i do??? Is it more harder than TOA life?? waaaa…. T_T hope i can handle all things well XD…

By the way, I would like to thx to all my friends either in TOA, Klang or anyone… I really love u all.. Thx for being my friends and help me went through all problems.. Thx for sharing the happiness or sadness together… I  really appreciate those precious moments so much !! Although sometimes we were argue or unhappy of something else, but it does improve our understanding between each other. At last, thx for supporting me for so long time and never abandon me even i need ur help ^_^ thats really great Previously, i might be cause some problem to u guys, but please forgive me and I will try to change ^_^ gomenasai yoh! I really enjoy with u all ^_^ especially those who always hangout with me yea lolz…

I have been in TOA for 3 years…When i thinking back of my life, i m started to feel so unpredictable of myself and my life… I realize my everything has changed…i dunno it’s a good or it’s a bad thing for me….sometimes its good that we have grow finally..but then it still mean that our life gets more complicated..

3 years in TOA does change me a lot..i get used to busy for my studies everyday and everyday…non-stop busy..and always wish for holiday @@ but i get boring easily becoz nothing to do in the holiday…so not used to it.. gosh…is it my life lack of entertainment and thats why??? I can see people from other colleges..always enjoy their life nicely and they get to experience the fun always T_T…i m jealous of that…U know? When i get a chance to enjoy the fun at outside, a reminder would pop up in my mind…guess wats that? it’s STUDIES =.= oh gosh…really cham cham !!

I feel kinda regret of not enjoying my life well since i m still in the young age @@ Well, i hope my life will be better in the future ^^ and pls "Stress" go away from me!!! XD

waaa these few days…i feel so excited of my classmates XD…i m getting along with a big gang of friends >"< maybe it’s becoz of final year ledi…everyone started to appreciate everything that surrounded them XD…Finally i realize..friendship is so important for me XD…weeee my classmates are funny, oh yeah!!!

After jojo class, everyone is so excited and go for yam cha in a big gang…we go to "ching Sui Wan" in SS2 to have our huge celebration XD.. we keep take photos..non-stop laughing… LoLz…aiks havent post our lovely photos tim >"< pai seh…ermm after upload into my com sin lar har ^ ^…

Then the second day…we separate into 2 gangz…1st gang is to go RedBox..and 2nd gang is going to Sunway Lagoon!!! lolz…i m the one who choosen to Sunway Lagoon..waaa so excited and tired >"< even i dunno how to swim..but still can play in the water until drink a lot water ..Waaaa >"<… we went for a lot rides..until ourselves also become lembik and pening XD… After we went to sunway lagoon..then we go to Sunway Pyramid for lunch XD…maybe can say as "Tea Time" bah..coz it was late ledi..around 4 o clock like that XD…enjoy our lunch in MCD… then we eat bao bao..go walk walk and buy present…then balik rumah…suddenly look at the mirror.. OMG!!!! i m totally RED AND DARKKK!!! >"< sei loo….my mom also terkejut when seeing me >"<

in the morning…yerrr i feel my whole body so dam pain >"< coz yesterday too extreme ledi >M< play until muscle also kembang besar besar lolz…totally no energy… >"< but then i feel so happy v my friends ^_^ luv them so muchie keke!!! muax~

hey… long time never post some new blogz >< recently juz keep bzing on my projects…it’s on the way to the holiday…hope i can settle everything well in the end ^^….In these period…actually i have realized quite a lot thingz dat i never expected for… haiz…a lot problems happen also >< i wish can forget about it leh ><

Now…i juz can’t explain myself…i feel myself so quiet..so calm….my tears started to come out from my eyes….. yea..i know..i m missing her right now… i juz tell myself to be tough..She will be worry about me if she know my feeling right now… guess who’s dat??? it’s my lovely grandma..(my mom’s mom) i love her so much…and she giv me a lot memories..i juz too miss her…

i juz bek from her house… Althought she’s not here anymore…but my aunt and uncle are still there.. so i went for visit… i feel so weird…feel lack of something.. then my bro ask me to pray for grandma..(Chong xiang in cantonese) then i only realize..yea … it’s becoz of my grandma…when dat time i pray for her…i feel like crying…but i juz tried to be tough and not to cry..i know she will be sad if she know this..and i pray for my grandpa too..ask him to take care of my grandma at "there" also…haiz…..but reach home ledi…i juz cant control my tears..

i think i m still avoiding the truth..can’t accept it that she has past away 1 or 2 months ago… i juz can’t forget the momentz… T_T…

ah ma, i m still miss u a lot….

i dun understand how ppl think about a friend who studying about design course…i really dun understand it u know…they think u are their friend then they can ask for something that is free of charge..they ask u to help them design this design that..draw this draw that…u know designers can do these thingz coz they study about that thing…they pay for study…they put effort to study.. u think so easy to design this or draw that??? sumore without payment?? and need to spent time even they are bz for their studies??? oh damn it then…what they learn and wat they bz for is for their own studies…is not about working for u and pay for ntg lo…yeah maybe u think is selfish…bcoz u dun understand wat these all about..wat u juz know is to ORDER ppl to help u do this do that only.. u dun even care wat ppl bz about or ppl has their own reason that not help u… what m i saying is not about money concious..is about our design’s profession…our creativity.. pls ppl understand our situation…we work with our creativity..creativity isnt not free…it need time to think a lot…it need TIME!!! Designers are more harder to be than others… pls do understand this!!!

waaa my fingers keep counting how many days left to TERM BREAKK!!! WAAKAKAKAK….but then…thats mean i m going to be crazzy too lehh!!! a lot projects going to be done ledi >"< waaa…sei mou!!! sumore next week going to photo shooting on "modelz" …outdoor leh…i suppose to be excited but then quite scary also..coz this is my 1st to shoot ma >"< sumore modelz leh..sked sked!!!may the god bless me… !! aiks all projects and my classes all packed together >"< dieing loo!!! but gambatehh!!! i can make it!!

fuiyo..i juz receive a letter from my college..at 1st i thought it was a "WARNING" letter…maybe i m going to fail ledii omgggg…. then when i open it..it juz…DAMN…scary me lah~ it is a letter tat inform my parentz to pay next term fees…lolz~* baka TOA.. normally the letter is come v a bit colourz..but this time..walao..no color at all..pure white!! macam wan fail like that..pif pif…

Waaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~***** tOnight sure cant sleep welll >< tmr such a scary day that i have been waiting for >< is not about competition or any examination… is about to attend my lecturer "Mr jo" class… my heart keep non stop beating… and my fingers + mind keep working on the projectz >< honestly, i m afraid to see him…tmr have to let him criti on my works..(Project process) ….he’s very fierce person… scaryyyy >< everyone sked of him, mann!!! haiz…sometimes i kena scolded by him like bloodyhell…makes me feeling wan to cry… but then everyone ask me to be positive minded… he scolded us juz becoz he cares our improvement..he wan us to be better >< but still veri sked of him >< oh my angel..pls bless me well for tmr !!! PLEASE!!! wish he will not be "Cruel" to me tmr ><

Sigh… i m really speechless about myself and everything that i met recently…i dunno should i or shouldn’t i..i m not sure of everything is right or wrong… sometimes i worked hard on something…but get ignore and not appreciate…u know the feeling of losing confidence? yeah thats the result that i get… i m started to blame on myself..and i m not sure of everything i did…..i m confusing and cause me sleepless always..brain non-stop thinking!

Yeah i m trying to be possitive to myself.. i try to enjoy my life..but its tough… my life seems like doesn’t goes on easily.. i m so envy about others..and about wat they have it and i dun have it… so unfair…

i even cried for myself…why m i stupid but not like my friendz - genius…? no matter how much effoct i put..how much time i spent on working something.. people juz wont appreciate it.. they will only judge u by ur weaknesses.. if u really have the "Potential" or medge something they like it..they will love u totally.. no matter wat problem u did after all, they juz keep say "nono u are right"…coz u has the status in their heart… haiz.. However, if u did something wrong at 1st, u are totally out of their mind… watever u did, they juz can say "NO!!! u are wrong!!" wrong always… yeah maybe i m one of worst victim for it…

Few days ago, i went for a movie "I m not stupid too"…there are a lot real case studies from it.. The ugly judgement for a "unpotential" person… people juz wont understand ur inner feeling and the thoughtz..they think u are "Worst" means u are "Worst Always"… but did people ever look on ur possitive side? did they appreciate it? think about it… Everyone isnt perfect.. Everyone has positive side and negative side…juz try to look into their better side rather than juz look into the worst side.. and everyone do something sure has their own reasonz..try to figure it.."The Why"…

I hope… some of the people would be understand these…but not juz keep looking into dark side.. especially for the professional >"<… try to understand others situation, the feeling and the reasons b4 judging others… From these, we can decrease the unneccessary misunderstoodz and arguementz… sometimes…words might decrease a person "Confidence" and "Thoughtz"

Today…such a tired day >< really sien arrr….whole day went outz but not for fun woh…is bz jor whole day…Since the early morning, i went to my grandma’s 14 dayz funeral (aiks dunno how to explain…juz the re-pray for a person who past away after 14 dayz)… Then, i rush for lunch + bek to college’s studio to finish up my photo shooting assignment T.T…den rush to class again… wow!!

eh hou…Even today veri tired n get black big panda eyes, but i did have precious momentz coz today i have a lot fun v my lovely crazy classmatez haha…i took a lot photos and videos of my class… All laugh together..crazy together… Maybe other ppl think that this is the normal thing that will happen in class…but it’s not true at all leh…Most of the time, we all veri stress + Sleepy + concerntrate on studies… seldom get a chance to fun together… i really hope tat we can have joy together.. like sticky "Art Gum" haha… Thx for being a part of my life…and sorry if i cause some misunderstood sometimes >< pai seh ooo

Here is my wordz for my favourite classmatez,
Yeah guyz and gurlz…dis is the final year of our class ledi…wish that we can have more fun and crazy together more… the precious momentz always will be deeply keep in our memories !!! i really luv dis class…luvz u all muax!!! haha…although we might have some arguementz or unhappy memories between each other, but we did understand each other and willing to help each other to get through everything after all… Please remember that we always share the laughter, sadness and the stressness together.. Cause we care!! and we are best best best friendz in life always!!

sien leh…recently, extreamly stress….cant sleep well even veri tired…mind keep thinking of assignmentz + projectz..all like bukit-bukit… Sob..really veri stress leh…i found out tat my studies in TOA is very different from others lo.. i even seldom to go out enjoy or shopping..veri veri seldom…cant really enjoy my life well…Most of the dayz juz keep doing the same thingz… Sleepz / Eat / College / Assignmentz / Disccussion…. wow… i wish i can have my term break faster leh… going to be crazy ledi… i think most of the classmates also met the same situation like me…

Sometimes really lost confidence in improving my work…coz i still cant achieve my goal no matter how hardworking i m… reali tired…but then i realize i learn something new at last… there might be a plan to further my studies into Aussie after gradulate from TOA…but i feel really tired..i need rest after the 3 years been in TOA… confusing of my future..i dunno which direction should i go…Anyway, i m trying to be possitive to myself and learn to be happy and trying to control my emotion…^ ^… oh god…pls give me more times to prove myself and bless me to have the bright way to step further more…